I wanna run away.

I hate it.
I hate people talking about me.
I hate people hiding stuff from me.
I'm always the last person to know everything.
Well, I'm not perfect. I'm not the center of attention.
Not everything revolves around me.

---=======================================---

What are you trying to do ?
Your doing nothing, but hurting me.
Your not getting anything out of it.
Please, leave me alone.

.............

I'm useless..

Title says it all.
now let me explain

why do I think.. actually
How do I know that I'm useless..

observe.. well read

family- I'm a useless family member.
why? I make my parents suffer
They work so hard full time. 6 days a week. and yet I still sit on my rear end everyday on msn/myspace/fb.
my brother and sister probs don't even like me. I yell at them 24/7. for no reason. 
They, are not perfect. But look at you Theresa. NEITHER ARE YOU !
I love my family very much.
But I don't deserve the same love, I just don't 

friends- erm. Like I have any? 
I sit and watch.
like everything in front of me is a movie.
Other people are out there, enjoying life, solving their problems, breaking up, hooking up. whatever.
I'm here, by myself, Watching and observing. 
I don't deserve to have friends. Because I'm not one myself.
And please don't come up to me and say. 
'theresa, you have heaps of friends. what are you talking bout.'

Well thank you very much for attempting to cheer me up. but I'm sorry to say. but you fail. 
Friends is a complicated thing. they walk in and out ( how many times have I said that aye ) I cbf describing what they are, Because I'm at the bakery and like I have 20% of battery left.
But yeah. the word 'friend' isn't really part of my dictionary because the real meaning is meant to be shown by that person. and so far, not many people have shown that. 
but there is one person who has.

my best friend- he is just amazing and is the real meaning of a best friend. he is always there for me. and supports me. I really appreciate it, but why is that I can't do the same for him?
I can't cheer him up. I can't help him with his problems. I can't provide him my support. I don't know why he calls me his best friend. I don't deserve him.


I kinda need to wash my face cos like I don't wanna be like asked by parents 
WHY THE FUCK YOU CRYING @ THE BAKERY FOR ?!
Oh yeah. I don't even work. I just sit there and watch. Like right now, sitting down writing my blog via iPod. 
So sad..


Btw. listen to this song :
Ina - fall
the lyrics are just so beautiful.



But yeah..
Uhm, thanks for reading?

been a while;

haven't written a blog for a while
so much things been happening ..
tests and assignments
fucking piano exam. which I failed..
grr.ffs, I lost my tv remote again =__=

I feel uncertain bout my life
its like, I know that some things will turn out bad in the future
but people reassure me that they won't
I wanna believe them.. but I just dont seem too..


nothing else to say.
good morning.

im sorry

oh gee. I hate lieing
espcially to my parents.
Man what have I become?
so much influence around me
making me a person I don't wanna be.

my mum gave me a lecture bout boys and not to be friends with them
and she said promise me you won't do that
I said yes. but I know ive broken that promise already.
I can't help it.
she and my dad have high expectations on me aye.
well. Like all parents do.

but like, mine expect me to be the top student
fail already
the expect me to focus more on school then friends especially boys
epic fail.
they expect me to be a good example for my little siblings
pure fail.

I just don't deserve anything.
Ive been lieing so much to them
I wanna tell them I'm sorry.
but I just can't.

ive let myself AND my parents down
I'm sorry :(



---------------
oh and edwin wants his name in my blog
so here it is :

edwin kujawski :]




and no. we're not going out >___<


:]] goodbye

.

I want to tell you.
But i can't.
Because those words I wanna say.
Will make no sense or difference to you
I lost my chance. and I'll probably wont get it again
no one will ever get to hear those words that I wanna say to you from me...
they wont care anyways. and I guess. neither will you
fml.

_____________________


I have my piano exams tomrw.
And I do no guarantee myself I will get an A
or even a B
fml even more.


butbutbut!
I found my tv remote ^___^
chyeaah. Missing for a week and two days
hehe. I'm gay ;D

rahrahrah;

du ma-ing hell.
dont fucking judge me.

grrr. I hate it.
I hate you.
I hate life.

either. be my friend
or 'try' to be my friend
you dont have to judge me =___=

rahrahrah rage :@

and mum said I have to turn all electronics off @ 9 now.
loook mum, Its 9:57pm
:D



fuck. I really need to put myself together.
@_____@'

WHY

why do always have this feeling ?
this feeling inside of me.
like, everybody is living and enjoying life
while im here, sitting at my computer
staring at the screen
24/7?

its like, everybody has their own life.
and have left me behind, trying to do this on my own.

why ?
why do i always feel this way ?
why ? does god intend me to feel it ?




i just feel so lonely.



i neeed to get a life.
seriously.