bleh;

you know when u get that feeling where you have absolutely no idea what to do?
you just have no clue whats happening and you just want to start a brand new day.
I get these feelings alot and I usually just forget about it and start afresh
this time, I dont even know what I'm confused, happy, sad, grreatful,stressed, joyful or even depressed about
I dont even know what the feeling I have atm is
which is hard.

I've been thinking, and had a thought that school might have some affect on this
last term was kinda a big downhill.
I got low test results. Even if it was only 75%
I know I could have done better and that that's not my best effort
I always got distracted, I would wag classes or like even just staring into space
and not paying attention.
I got quite a few detentions last term as well.
Its not fun and its not helping with anything. peope just go in there and talk.
Like whats the point of that?
this term. I think I have improved a little bit
gradually. Step by step
I've been paying more attention but I still talk
BUT I still manage to finish my work and actually be ahead of the class
nerdd 8-|

on another thought. it might be my family or friend
this year. I've learnt that as you grow older,
its less important to have alot of freinds but its more important
to have true friends. that respect you and your decisions.
I have to admit, not many people are like that
they act as your best friend. and later on
they ask you to do somthing that you dont wanna do and you say no
they complain and turn into a bitch
my family. I used to be so close with themand now since I've started high school
everything has basically changed.
And it isnt the very best changesome changes have made me a lot happier
but some of them, I just wish didnt' change at all.

My family. Just like most Asian families [not being stereotype-y or racist]
they have big expections
especially cos I'm eldest
they raised me as a responsible and loyal child
but now, I dont know what I am anymore
I've become more irresponsible and someone that you wouldn't expect me to be

but yeah. Those are my opinions
and I still havnt figured out what my feeling is
maybe its meant to like this. Not to be figured
a mystery of life
the puzzle with a missing piece
an imcomplete world.

long blog. on a negative-y note
thanks for reading :D
I'm out.